How to solve the rain problem

I think I have this figured out--i.e. the mind of God and how He chooses where to send rain. I chuckled at first when I read about how Church of England bishops were calling the torrential rains in England a form of God's judgment:

One diocesan bishop has even claimed that laws that have undermined marriage, including the introduction of pro-gay legislation, have provoked God to act by sending the storms that have left thousands of people homeless.

While those who have been affected by the storms are innocent victims, the bishops argue controversially that the flooding is a result of Western civilisation's decision to ignore biblical teaching.

At first I didn't see how one necessarily follows the other. Then my proud region of Texas began to experience the worst flooding in five decades:

As rain continued to soak much of Texas on Thursday, emergency officials said the state is experiencing its most extensive flooding since 1957, when floods ended a statewide drought.

Hold on, I wondered, what did we do to anger God in such a way??? I presonally have not had too much trouble with the rain, except for dealing with a wet dog several times a day. Then I saw the news today about the gay Catholics in Austin:

Lesbian activist Honour Maddock said the Roman Catholic Church's stance on homosexuality no longer bothers her...The 51-year-old from Long Island, N.Y., came to Austin this week with her partner, Kathleen Kane, to attend the 19th biennial convention of DignityUSA, an organization that offers support for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered Catholics.

Although gay Catholics are still frustrated by the increasingly conservative leanings of the church leadership, some say they are finding more acceptance in their local parishes.

About 225 members of Dignity's chapters across the country convened in Austin to continue spreading the message that "our sexuality is not in conflict with our Catholicism," said Jeff Stone, a national spokesman for Dignity.

Hello??? Was no one paying attention to the donwpours of the past three weeks??? How could this be anything but God warning us against teh gays??? Wait, you say it's "been caused primarily by a low-pressure area trapped between two high-pressure areas"??? No, I think it's teh gays...that seems like the more logical explanation. Anyway, back to my point--I have also noticed that the plethora of rain in Texas and England has occurred during a dearth of rain in Alabama (thank you, Thesaurus!), leading the governor to ask for official Days of Prayer for Rain:

With parts of Alabama suffering an exceptional drought, Governor Bob Riley is turning to God for help and asking other Alabamians to join him in praying for rain.

Riley has issued a proclamation declaring June 30th through July 7th as "Days of Prayer for Rain" and asked citizens to pray individually and in their houses of worship.

How about if the gay Catholics march on Montgomery for a change??? We've got more rain than we need here, thank you much.

And yes, I am aware that many, if not most, Christians will say that the above-quoted bishop does not speak for them and their faith. If that is the case, why don't more people who do not share his opinions yet call their faith by the same name not speak out against him and people who think like him? All of the decent, moral, and kind people I have ever known who followed the teachings of Jesus called their faith by the exact same name as this guy, this guy, and this guy. They are the most extreme examples I could think of on the spot. That's the point.